What follows are seven phrases which may help in finding new friends and in nurturing old friendships. Most of us should be able to count on one hand, true close friends. Having hundreds of “friends” on social media doesn’t count for much for me.
Making new friends might not be easy for some people. While others find it’s not hard to speak to strangers or new acquaintances and engage in conversation. Some studies indicate that more than half of American adults report being lonely. When getting into a romantic relations might even cause the loss of some social ties. Those with kids might even have it worse. We need to work on making friends as people move away, get married, have kids, pass away or whatever reason, we don’t see them any longer.
Successful people don’t wait for new friends to come to them, they initiate the relationship.
Here are seven phrases you might use to cultivate new friendships. They can even bolster current ones.
- “I love/like your ______! Where did you get it?” Most people should find that mildly flattering. More likely than not, strangers are open to talking.
- “How do you like _____?” People like to share their opinions, but you have to be open to receiving them too. You can ask about art, music, a new drink, sports team, or whatever.
- “Do you have an recommendations for _____?” We like to share what we know so strangers usually respond well to this as a conversation starter. Ask about dining, travel spots, books, hobbies, movies or a host of other things.
- “It was great to meet you. I’d like to stay in touch, if you are open to it. How do you like to stay connected?” You might get an assortment of answers: phone, text, email, social media and so on. It’s a great way to show your interest without being too intrusive. Exchanges on social media are low-stakes and can build trust.
- “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you. Let’s plan to hang out more often”. Seeing new friends more than once helps build the relationship. Show your appreciation and build a connection when a foundation has been started.
- “______ made me think of you, I’ve been meaning to reach out. How have you been? Bringing in commonality helps to bridge gaps. Sometimes we all get busy with life and need to rekindle things that seemed promising. Once in a while it’s nice to just call “out of the blue” to say hello again. Old ties to a common friend helps with creating a higher level of trust. Reminiscing about a shared pleasant memory is just what you need to reconnect.
- “I’m always looking for new friends to try/do (some activity). Would you be interested?” For romantic relations, people base decisions on how likely they might be rejected. This might apply to friendships too. Asking someone to join up especially in a group event, might seem less threatening. Getting together for bike rides, yoga class, painting or cooking classes, a hike, or some other group session is a good start.
We have to make the effort to find new friends. Like to old AT&T ad said, “just reach out an touch some one”. You might be pleasantly surprised.
From an article in CNBC by Marisa Franco, April 23, 2024.