It is said that happiness is a choice but, in this world, a positive attitude sometimes seems elusive. Small, intentional, things can make our community more positive and content.
Think about how these phrases sound and are they better than what you might usually say.
- “I get to…” reframing from “have to” and instead say, “I get to” indicates gratitude. Instead of “I have to” check on the kids fighting, think, “I get to”. Be thankful that you were blessed with children. Instead of feeling pressured by an elderly family member for some help, think “I get to help Aunt Susie”. You might be an Aunt Susie one day and hope someone helps you.
- “What was your rose?” Make thankfulness part of your life. The game, Rose, Thorn, Bud provides some insight. A rose is any highlight, tiny win, or small pleasure from the day. “I finally found the keys to the shed,” “My principal emailed me a thank you,” “I got an assist at hockey practice.” A thorn is something that hurt or didn’t go well. And finally, a bud, or something you’re looking forward to.
- “Tell me more”, we often want to interject a solution to solve a situation a friend is telling us about, when we should slow down and listen more. It shows them that we have the time and energy to hear more.
- “… yet” Try to avoid, “I can’t, “I don’t”, or “I’m not…” you leave open the door of opportunity that you might be able to do so in the future. With friends or children, we can turn something into a positive statement… “I’m not a strong swimmer…yet”.
- “Will this matter in a month or year from now?” Avoid banshee behavior by zooming in on the moment like there’s no way out or solution. Don’t let your passions/anger flare up. If the answer that this topic won’t matter in a later, let it go and pull calm back into the situation.
- “I will focus on…” Emails piling up, unanswered texts, notifications flashing… Distraction and decisions can wear you down. Stop and write down what you will focus on next or first thing in the morning and let the rest go. Achieving even one goal can help us gather momentum again and move you towards genuine happiness.
From CNBC – Leslie Richardson and Neil Pasricha 10/20/23